Stop asking silly questions that are a waste of breath.

Don’t ask why he doesn’t call more often. If he wanted, he’d call. Trying to force him turns us into beggars.

If you need to ask ‘Do you love me?’ it means you doubt him, so why are you with someone you doubt?

What’s the point telling him his behaviour is very strange. He thinks its normal.

If you ask for something three times and don’t get, you’ll likely ask another dozen times and still not get.

People are who they are. You can’t turn a mean man into a generous man. You can’t change a player into a faithful lover. You can’t change an emotionally unavailable man into one with tender feelings.

If you suspect he’s cheating, he probably is. Women have antennae. We feel things. We sense things. We smell a rat so why do we go into the nest?

Let’s all agree what a rat is so you can sniff one out from the start.

He is not reliable. He doesn’t call when promised, is vague when you try to pin him down, makes a note of what you spend, likes to watch his pennies and you can’t trust a word he utters.

You’ve known someone like that I bet? Surely once was enough to learn ?

If he truly loves you, nothing will keep him away. He’ll be a gentleman, lover of merit, kind, generous and honest. Don’t bother with anyone who doesn’t show they love you. We are not martyrs or rehabilitation centers for badly raised men.

If you have to tell him to call more often and ask if he loves you, delete.  It will prove another rat trap.


Stella Ralfini               email

Author of Sensual Sorcery, Three Faces of Sex and Chakra Psychology

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