Stop making sexual attraction your main criteria. This does not apply to men. Let’s leave them on Mars shagging their eyes out while we concentrate on getting our act together on Venus.
Sex is a powerful force to get a man’s attention but if you hooked him with your boobs exposed to your nipples and came across as a sex bomb, there’s little chance he’ll prove a keeper. He’s likely to be a dog who sniffs every bitch that sniffs back throughout your relationship. I have coupled with quite a few since their sexual prowess is of paramount importance and they are masters at giving us multiple orgasms and bringing out our naughty side. Oh yeah, I learned a lot from sniffers about ridding myself of conditioning, however, I’m a woman with a man’s attitude and know the difference between ships that pass in the night and the ones I want to stay in port.
Women want to be wanted at the exclusion of all other females but other than in rare cases, this is an impossible dream. I feel it’s unfair that the moment our periods stop, our sexual needs wane whereas a man’s testosterone can still rage when he’s 70. Of course it burns when your man takes off with a younger model but what to do when a man’s brain is attached to his dick? We cannot force a dog to be faithful and need to accept this fact or suffer with endless broken hearts.
Having studied dogs in depth lol, let’s look at the two categories. Players and Keepers.
You come across a player and fancy his pants off? Great. Give him a wink, make the first move, ignore rejection and play the game like a man not a victim. When you snare, do it your terms and when he tells you you’re the sexiest thing on two legs smile ‘cos he probably said it to Lulu a couple of nights earlier Players are usually sharp dressers and glib talkers whose main focus is on exercising their penis. Don’t even both asking him to take you to the theatre, cinema or for dinner. It will usually be your place or his and even then he won’t be reliable because flaming Lulu’s probably still on the scene.
Players tend to be selfish, jealous controllers who are such brilliant liars, they make you doubt your sanity. Women have incredible intuition. We know when someone is playing away from home but when we air our suspicions we’re accused of have fertile imaginations and to pay us back they become abusive or distant. From being told you were the sexiest thing on two legs, he’ll call you fat, ugly and worse and in your fragile state of mind, will squash every ounce of confidence from your being, wipe the smile off your lips and replace it with bloated, crying eyes. Threaten to leave, he’ll say he will change but two weeks later you’re back where you started with the knowing that Lulu still lives on.
The rule of thumb with players if you want to take it further than a few trysts is TWO chances. Go past that number and you’ll be giving him rope until you’re old, grey, frazzled and washed up. Please don’t think you’re the ONE woman in the world who can change him. Players are for temporary pleasure. Fix this firmly in your mind. Be a strong, confident woman who eats players for breakfast instead of being ravaged and thrown aside by them.
The man to look for if your aim is a happy, long term relationship, perhaps won’t make your vagina rage with lust but he’s a thoughtful lover who would no more insult you than his favourite football team. He’s kind, caring, honest, fun loving, will praise you for your efforts and when he says you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, you can trust he’ll choose you over Lulu even if she offers herself naked on a plate.
There is no way as a younger woman that you’ll avoid players and if you’re looking for an adrenalin rush, they’ll supply it, so I suggest you play with all the toys in your toy box until you can close the lid and say ‘Thanks for the experience. I’m ready to welcome a keeper.’
Stella Ralfini is a professional life coach and beauty guru. Summer 2019 she will tour the UK/Scotland teaching workshops to promote her forthcoming book Sensual Sorcery.