Perhaps we hate our job but won’t leave because what might happen to us then? What if our next job turns out to be worse than the one we had? What if we end up penniless? What if…

Perhaps we don’t love our partner but won’t leave because what would happen to us then? What if the next partner is worse than the one we had? What if we ended up on our own? What if…

Fear thrives on ‘whats if?’ but we can’t know the ‘if’ because our scenarios are future based. How can we foresee the future? How can we know anything? Our thoughts are not facts. They are imagined and imagination is illusion. And what’s reality? Anything we convince our minds to believe.

 Perhaps we’re afraid our ‘plane will crash? It might. Who knows. However, if the flight isn’t for another month, what’s the point of torturing ourselves until then? If we physically can’t do anything about the outcome because the moment hasn’t arrived, why put ourselves through hell? Imagine that you’re walking along and you see a child fall from a balcony? Would you let fear hold you back?  Of course not. You’d run like the wind to save that child and in the same way you’ve got to believe you’d be there to save yourself if and when the time came.  Erasing fear’s hold on you is a matter of not looking backwards or forwards and staying centred in the NOW.

 When fear overwhelms me I don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. I take deep breaths and get in touch with it by saying something like ‘I’m scared but I can and will get through it’.  If it’s a future based fear I tell myself ‘It’s an illusion because it isn’t in the Now and I refuse to make that fear my reality.’ If we are there to listen to our thoughts instead of letting them run wild, they can’t scare us. Thoughts can only scare us when we turn them into wild things. Think of it like this, we are the creators of the villains that live in our minds so let’s take the imaginary axes out of their hands and give them comics to read instead. 

Listen to the thought that says ‘I’m afraid of being alone.’ Listen to it without attachment. Ask that fear if there is anything to be done in the here and now. If there is, do something before you make that repeated thought your reality.   If you can’t think of anything, ask a trusted friend for suggestions – but don’t wallow. Act. Do something. Act.

When ‘what if’ fear hits next time around, instead of getting stuck in your old scenario, take action. If there’s a telephone call you need to make, make it. If it’s a conversation you need to have, have it. If it’s something you can research, get the facts.

What’s the remedy for fear? Acceptance. In this case you would bring into your being the simple truth that death can come at any time – so what’s the point worrying about anything that might happen in the future? Before then we could have choked on a prune stone or got run over by a truck…hopefully joking but you get my drift. Don’t wait for fear to overwhelm you, be ready to slay it before your mind goes into overdrive. Fast forward your fear to the end, accept the worst and forget it. Tell yourself you have the ability to face your challenges as and when they arise. Use positive visualisations and affirmations to change your negative thoughts.

Fear blocks our talent because we are afraid of rejection. It blocks the quality of our lives because we’re afraid of the unknown. It blocks the heart because we are afraid of being hurt. Life’s too precious to waste living in fear.  Especially since we don’t know if we’ll still be here tomorrow. Live in the Now and use your power to overcome all that holds you back from your greatness.


Stella Ralfini is a professional online life coach, beauty guru and award winning author. The above extract was taken from her book ‘Chakra Psychology.’










Muladhara Meditation –  Throwing Out The Dead Fish


Our thoughts, as you know, exist at three levels – the conscious, subconscious and unconscious. Our unconscious thoughts are tho