The morning I woke up to see hundreds of erect penis pics on all my social media platforms, was a day which deeply saddened me. From all around the globe, men had written lewd messages to accompany their proud appendages. A few wrote ‘you are my favourite GILF.’ GILF apparently means the grandmother I’d most like to fuck.

I brought the onslaught of eager penises on by posting a video aimed at encouraging people to embrace Tantra and talk more honestly about sex – here’s link to related article:  http://stellaralfini.co.uk/scientific-facts-and-application-of-semen-beauty-mask/. However, I have yet to fathom why a woman who was close to 70 took root in their fantasies? If I’d met those men, I would have kicked them in the nuts and tossed them in an ice cold lake. I mean what young man in his right mind would want to have sex with his grandmother?

The shock got me thinking about how someone of pensionable age, who wasn’t thick skinned like me, might have reacted. The poor woman could have had a heart attack or carried mental scars until her dying breath. I’ve fought too hard to be my authentic self and know how to stand up for myself but what happened to me was akin to abuse –and I put ‘dick stalkers’ in that category.

We only have to read articles on the Womens’ Health Government website: https://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/ to understand that many forms of abuse affect women from all backgrounds every day. My question is – if men aren’t showing them respect, why aren’t they taking action?

For centuries women have lived by a value system which tried to repress us and even in this day and age men are secret bullies when it comes to their methods of keeping us in our place.  I know this only too well because I’m a life coach and 95% of my clients are women.  One lived with a man who should have been a dog because his voice was a bark from morning to night and behind every bark was a complaint, sneer or put down. Another woman found herself going to lengths to explain her unhappiness which was met with vague looking elsewhere, silence, sniffs or unfeeling comments like ‘You’re too emotional,’ ‘Your period must be due,’ ‘I’m sick of your constant nagging.’ A third, (a successful lawyer) is starting to hate her work because of what awaits her in a court room when the opposite lawyer is male.  She says their take on winning a case is through aggression. My client doesn’t want to launch into attack mode to prove a point but is forced into this position to get respect.

As Aretha Franklyn sings with such passion –  R.E.S.P.E.CT.  Get it and we’ll gladly give it, otherwise we need to find more effective ways to stop taking crap from alpha gorillas in the workplace and at home.

I’m starting to wonder whether heterosexual marriage will soon become a thing of the past because off the top of my head I can think of only six couples where the woman is happy. The rest are various shades of bored, disillusioned or disappointed and sex has become a bland duty because their men have become lazy in their attentions. Men put up a pretense that ‘everything’s hunky dory’ because many get extra dibs elsewhere. We’re not stupid. Our inner knowing tells us something is amiss but we’re romantics who would rather hold onto the myth that men are God’s gift to women than face the truth.

I found myself in this position once a long, long time ago. I’m not sure I ever loved a man as much as him. He had charm, made me laugh and wasn’t the type who’d strike anyone as a skirt chaser but when he began getting home later, an alarm sounded in my head. He fervently denied it of course but eventually I left because I knew he was stringing me along. He married someone else within a year and I recently found out left a string of broken hearts in his wake.

In my case, my sense of self-preservation saved me, and from that day on while I’ve remained a glamorous, feminine woman, I think like a man – or at least give that impression.  Until death do us part is a ridiculous thing to promise, and as I say when asked whether I will be faithful: ‘How can I know I won’t be tempted? How can I promise I will feel what I do now five years down the line?’ Most men don’t like it. They want us to be monogamous while they’re strutting it large.

Due to my honesty, men don’t come at me in droves because they’re terrified of strong women but I don’t NEED a man and the clue to ‘Respect’ lies in ‘not needing.’

I know how many women suffer in their relationships. Many stay because they have children to bring up or their finances are entwined or they’re worried about how they’ll manage on their own. That’s no life. It’s time to stand together ladies.  It is time to find courage to let men know we are their equals and trust that little voice inside that says ‘I deserve more than this and intend do something about it.’

We can only teach others how to respect us by treating ourselves with respect, otherwise we’ll never get it back. We need to stop seeing the dick a man has in his trousers, because we’d never let a fanny owner get away with the behavior we put up with from men. We need to be more selective in our choices and use emotional intelligence instead of tears to make our feelings known.

From everything I’ve said, it probably sounds like I don’t like men when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. However, that’s because I am made to feel respected (by those I don’t frighten off – and the dick wavers who we’ll forget about!) There are wonderful men out there but we have to start as we intend to go on and remember the principles of what a healthy relationship means.

Relationships should be based on equality, honesty, free expression, the coming together of bodies and souls until and if either wants to take off in another direction.  We can’t own another human being but we can agree terms and expect them to be upheld. If we don’t, let’s kick them in the nuts, move out and not look back.

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