Morgan Freeman famously said that to end racism we need to stop talking about it. In the same way, I suggest we stop talking about age – which is the most talked about topic on our planet. Who cares about the age on our birth certificates? I don’t, but judging from my recent (not so pleasant) experience on a dating site, men still live in the dark ages and because I was honest, I hardly got a look in. However, this blog is not about me. It’s about something which so touched me, I felt compelled to share.

Struggling with which profile pic to post on the dating site, I sought advice from a beauty/make up page called Beauty Obsessed on Facebook. Since I’m old enough to be their mother (or grandmother), I never imagined so many would take time to state their choice and spur me on with encouragement.

Within days these beautiful, sweet, caring, women, began sharing their relationship sorrows and concerns that they didn’t measure up but it all came back to one thing. The singletons worried they were too old to find a partner. One such woman was a stunning 34 year old but her angst was causing so much misery she felt defeated. She could have been 25, and most women these days can’t be defined by a number so let’s put an end to this stupidity and refuse to disclose our age.

I can deal with my challenge because I’m a tough cookie but many younger women are still struggling to come to terms with life and it doesn’t help that they live in a world of fierce competition. Most women of today are gorgeous and take incredible care of their looks. The problem is they can’t see their beauty because they seek the perfection of the celebrities they look up to. However, celebrities have the money to update their wardrobes on a daily basis, invest in expensive beauty treatments and reshape their bodies through means of plastic surgery. We don’t have the means, and celebrities who throw what WE can’t afford in our faces, should not go around preening their shiny feathers and making ours look shoddy.

Those with the good fortune to make huge impact through social media should use such power to be inspirational role models instead of airing their petty squabbles and showing off their latest makeovers. For me, families like the Kardashians fall into this category because they are not passing on meaningful messages to their fans. However, TV channels don’t want that because smut sells better. This I know from personal experience.

Last year, I was asked to take part in an ‘over sixties’ reality show series. I agreed because I saw it as a way to inspire older couples who were embarking on new relationships. The location chosen by the TV channel took place in a sex toy shop in London. No prob for me since sex is a subject I’ve covered many times in my work as a life coach. Therefore, I applied the same professional approach I use with clients, to soon realize they were looking to ridicule.

When prompted to select black leather basques a size 6 would struggle to get into and an item which induced electric shocks, I said ‘Older women would have the life
squashed out of them in those basques and I’m not going to tell them to electrocute themselves.’

The director looked peeved but couldn’t force my hand. Moving onto dildos, I picked up one recommended by the shop manager for over sixties women.

‘Shake it about. REALLY shake it about,’ the director shouted. ‘Better still, show them that 9″ inch one.’

‘The last thing an over sixties woman would want is an 9″ dildo inside her,’ I said sweetly.

Naturally, my episode in the show was scrapped because they weren’t looking for class but crude entertainment. This is the sorry state of things in today’s world.
Therefore, what I’d like to say is that if young women want someone to look up, let it be their higher selves and let their objective be integrity.

Comparison causes damage – unless this is aligned to ourselves. Therefore, may they remember the only woman they should strive to be better than is the one they were yesterday and that the first step to looking beautiful is feeling beautiful by embracing their imperfections and letting go of all that reeks of plastic superficiality. Master this and they’ll rock beauty into their purpled haired seventies – as I now intend to do.

For those of you who haven’t read my blog ‘How to Get Back In The Dating Game.’ here’s the link.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/stella-ralfini/how-to-get-back-into-the-_b_15383190.html

Coming soon –VIDEOS: ‘Dynamic Breathing Technique to Keep Wrinkles at bay and Protect the Immune System’ and ‘Free Inner/Outer Beauty Secrets.’
Also my promised blog: The Latest Most Innovative Beauty Treatments to Avoid Aging Skin.