There are many ways to get closer to love but they all involve cutting out ego’s roots – and if we don’t master this we can’t truly say we know what love means.

 ‘True loving’ means we have graduated to what is called the ‘space of understanding’. That elevated space is high on the ladder of spiritual growth since it requires us to stay consciously aware of how the ego is continually bent on destruction.

 Imagine what you’ll feel like when it isn’t important to be right? When we can accept what someone says without getting upset. And, instead of turning everything into a battle, can tune ourselves into this glorious space?

 In every argument you will sometimes be right and sometimes wrong, as will the other person. However when two people become locked in a battle of egos, it will rarely have a positive outcome.

Pause before any damage is done by visualizing a STOP sign in front of your eyes – then ask yourself how important is it to be right? Who cares if the other person thinks you’re wrong? Why is it so important? Why not listen to what’s being said without taking affront?  

Perhaps we are more self-centred than we think. Perhaps we do come across as sneaky or insecure. For another person to see those things in us, they obviously believe them to be true. Why let ego stop us saying ‘If you believe that about me, I guess somewhere you are right.’

When we reach this plateau, we will be able to share our feelings in more loving ways, and without the need to be right, won’t create negative energy.

The space of understanding brings us closer to the heart, which is where true love resides and has space to flourish.


Stella Ralfini is a professional life coach, health/beauty advisor and award winning author.