God doesn’t care if we’re heterosexual or gay. No-one is looking down to judge us. Nothing cares. It’s all getting on with its own life – and here’s a call for us humans.
Monogamy is a man created concept that’s practiced by the minority and is on its way out. Ohio State University’s study concluded men thought about sex over 19 times a day. We always knew they thought from their trousers but nowadays they’ve broken free and women whose hearts are set on penis owners are coming up with new ways to keep tabs.
Pre-nubs with penalties for men found cheating, ain’t ever gonna work. Most men need plentiful sex because like it or lump it, that’s the way they are built. This is where I’m likely to get a backlash of criticism but what the heck, someone has to open the subject up for discussion. I haven’t had an issue with partners finding sex elsewhere if the frequency of their need got too much for me in years. Can’t say I knew about it if they did because they never brought it home and I always felt loved and cared for. There was one incident after I parted with a long term lover when a girlfriend told me he dallied when I went on my annual three month trip to India. I shrugged. ‘Good luck to him. I chose to take off to do what I wanted. Why should he be denied?’
The world has changed lots. We accept same sex relationships and same sex couples raising children. Across every gender, some will find their soulmate in one and never feel the need to have sex with anyone else. However, in this day and age, its better we accept that dalliances are agenda possibilities and come up with allowances that don’t make us feel cheated should they arise. I know a couple of women who found once a month sex too much. Their husbands visit a ‘servicing’ house on occasion and the arrangement works for both. I get this option because its paid for, cut and dried sex without emotional entanglement – which when it comes down to it, is what most of us fear. When I was in Harbour Island recently, I got chatting with a waitress who told me there is such a shortage of men in the Bahamas, two women tend to share one. There’s the wife and the sweetheart. Both know about one another, prefer the roles they play and are at ease. Not an option I’d choose. I’m more of a ‘what the eye doesn’t see’ type.
If you’re young, my words might shock, but take them on board. They could help your relationship in the future. Whilst talking about the future, if you’re not heterosexual don’t be afraid to come out whatever sexual persuasion you lean towards. Women have been conditioned to believe they should fall in love with men and the same the other way around. Forget the word gender, let us replace it with human beings and understand that as such we were given free choice to love who we please. On this note, I agree with Germaine Greer who said: ‘I have always been principally interested in men for sex. I’ve always thought any sane woman would be a lover of women because loving men is such a mess. I have always wished I’d fall in love with a woman. Damn.’ I feel her but as yet, at 72, remain heterosexual.
Loneliness is on the rise as people search for suitable partners. Many feel defeated because there’s no-one they feel anything for. With totally free minds, would we still choose someone of the opposite sex? Whatever our penchant, its time to think true love when looking for a mate with the promise we’ll allow our relationships to breathe and find a path that works for both.
Stella Ralfini is a life coach and author. Her latest book ‘Sensual Sorcery’ moves from liberating sex (as she attempted to in her last book Three Faces of Sex), to health and beauty. It is available on Amazon and at major book stores.