My niece came over for dinner last week. She’s single and on Tinder looking for a man. To drag her away from some twit she was texting, I announced it was time to eat. My niece told the guy. Next second she was laughing herself silly.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘He asked if I wanted to lick his dick as a starter.’

I didn’t smile.  Dickylick’s approach was far too crude for my taste. I mean, how can something of depth come from that sort of start?

I said as much to a friend of mine called Jonas. He was looking for a boyfriend on a site called Grinder. Jonas met and grinded with a guy he met online, announced he was in love, then had a spitty-fit when he discovered his lover was grinding it large with every Tom, Dick and Harry from London to Luton.

I am a Tantric woman. We pride ourselves on our uninhibited way of making love but take time to let relationships blossom since we seek mind/soul connection first.  I wouldn’t want it any other way… although I sometimes wonder if I belong to a dying breed in many respects.

I’m not interested in what most women read about on trains – ie. whether Katie Price wants  more kids, what Maria Carey looks like without airbrushed boobs, which celebrities were seen flashing their bums or the Kardashian’s latest makeovers.

I want to be inspired. I want to be uplifted with joyous, meaningful news and I feel it’s the media’s duty to give the young proper guidance as opposed to filling their minds with nonsense.

I want to be with men who’ll open car doors and make me feel adored; not unzip their pants in the same breath they say hello and I wish younger women didn’t feel so insecure that they further damaged their self esteem by rushing into unsuitable relationships.

Am I part of a dying breed? I need to know? Is there anyone else out there who feels like me?


Stella Ralfini is a life coach, beauty guru and award winning author. She writes for Huffington Post under name ‘Mature Beauty Minx’ and for Consumers Health Digest. Her four books, including Three Faces of Sex, are available from her Shopify shop on Facebook.