When we were children, we didn’t plan things, and we didn’t need much to make us happy. With imagination, a couple of bottle tops and a piece of string were enough to give us hours of pleasure. And whilst we may have dreamed of growing up to be astronauts, marry a pop star or live in a mansion, we were content to dream. We didn’t make ourselves sick worrying.

 As adults, we become far too anxious. No more games of blind man’s buff for us. The thought of not knowing where we are going terrifies us. We want maps with clear signs and goal posts, and boy do we get upset when the goal post moves or something doesn’t go to plan. We spend years trying to come up with foolproof strategies to ensure our futures will be secure when nothing is foolproof. With our energy focused on this, we become rigid and lose our ability to laugh – and we’re so goal oriented, we’re not satisfied with simply setting goals for ourselves, we want to poke our noses into everybody else’s lives. Then, when they fall short of the goals we set them, become doubly anxious.

 Let’s go back in our minds to when we were children, playing in the school yard, or playing a game of make belief with our friends. Even if are lives were less than perfect, we knew then how to switch off and allow the dance of creation to absorb us.

 Maybe some people have easier lives than ours but there are billions who’d love to be in our shoes, so why can’t we be more grateful as adults?  Like everyone, I’ve had my share of ups and downs, but for me, my daughter is my most precious gift and whatever I might not have, pales into insignificance when I’m with her. Then I think about how blessed I am to have family and friends and my thoughts turn to God because without Him, they couldn’t exist. These are gifts to value. Gifts that bring us love, because when our carefully laid plans turn on their heads and all else is stripped away, love is the one thing we can count on to get us through.



Stella Ralfini is a professional life coach, beauty guru and author. The above extract is from her book ‘Chakra Psychology.’  She also writes for Huffington Post and Consumer Health Digest.